This is what the devil plays before he sleeps.

17000dollarballpit:

Dentist: do you smoke?
Me: why you Tryna light up?

after i fainted
nurse: how many fingers?
me: 3 with some lube
baby: f-f-f-f
dad: father??
baby: ***Flawless (remix)

rock-lee:

I CANT BREATHE

thecutestofthecute:

English Cream Dachshund 

andrewjacksonjihads:

i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and shave their head while i shave my head and then hotglue the hair to the roof so the roof will have hair

southernshellsandweddingbells:

THIS IS LITERALLY A DESCRIPTION OF MY LIFE

southernshellsandweddingbells:

THIS IS LITERALLY A DESCRIPTION OF MY LIFE

cosbyykidd:

clarknokent:

Drake performing “Honorable Mentions” / “Side Pieces”

Bruh this made me legit burst out laughing

lmaooooooo bruuuuh

laughingstation:

you promised these kids krabby the clown

but all i saw was

image

cheapy the cheapskate

pussylover3000:

IM LOGGING OFF

pussylover3000:

IM LOGGING OFF

unconvenience:

Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u