somebody please let this man retire
I apologize to everyone whose grammar I ever corrected before I learned not to be a tool.
You’re… really sweet to do that. Thanks.
Dentist: do you smoke?
Me: why you Tryna light up?
I CANT BREATHE
English Cream Dachshund
i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and shave their head while i shave my head and then hotglue the hair to the roof so the roof will have hair
THIS IS LITERALLY A DESCRIPTION OF MY LIFE